This
topic came up because I was having a discussion with my room mates and I
told them simply that anyone who thinks she's ready to have sex, should
equally be ready for the consequences.
Then they said that it
isn't really a girl's fault if she sleeps with a guy who 'deceives' her
into thinking he's genuine thereby getting pregnant.
Now, there I
fully disagree. Isn't it always easier to blame the guy for
impregnating you? "Oh, he told me he loves me and that's why I slept
with him"....um, if I want something from someone, of course I'll say
all the right things. Or, when you wan collect money from the guy, shey
you sef no dey abuse the 'L' word?
Any girl sleeping with a dude because he 'professed his 'undying love' is either a 12-year old or re-tarded.
The next thing they said is "It takes the grace of God to overcome
temptation"...leave it to black people to pull God into their mess. When
you put yourself in a risky situation, prepare for risks. If you decide
to go to a man's house- a virile man's house alone, be ready for
certain things that could arise. This isn't about just the grace of God,
this is about being smart and cautious.
Unless in rape cases
and those involving minors, there is no sort of sexual relationship
between a man and woman that is non-consensual. You were of sane mind
when he touched you, kissed and fondled, comot cloth, comot undies and
finished project, so why make excuses?
One was even askinng me
that so if I had a bf I wouldn't sleep with him. And I replied that it's
only in this century that sleeping with a man just because he's
courting you is viewed as perfectly normal. That view is what made me
realise that the world has been taken over by madness the likes of which
TB Joshua cannot cure.
I have made a personal decision not to
involve myself in fornication and I have been pro-active about it by
ensuring that I stay away from 'dangerous' situations. I have tons of
male friends some of whom have expressed their interests and have been
turned down, if I must meet them, we meet in public places. I do not
subscribe to meeting males in private, staying out late with guys who I
know little of or generally being in uncomfortable situations. Of course
I sometimes come off as a shrewd or frigid, but you have to take some
things, better that than ashawo or public toilet
If you have
made a decision to be sexually active, then don't make excuses for it.
Don't present yourself as a victim of the 'superior male intellect'. I
dey kpansh, I dey kpansh, dem no fit kill pesin ontop that one. Call 10
litres of petrol what it is, don't present 10 litres as 15 litres or say
"it's supposed to be 10 litres, but the attendant cheated me"
Be who you are and stand for something.
By Safarigirl (Nairaland)
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