Most men would usually cite reasons such as boredom, opportunity, temptation, etc, as what pushed them to adultery, but women, being the more emotional gender, often state different reasons.
In a society like ours, women are not very forthcoming about sex-related issues much less open up about infidelity, but Naij.com has been able to gather some reactions from a few Nigerian women under conditions of anonymity.
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
1. Loneliness:
“My husband works in the airline industry and this means he travels very often. Sometimes we spend as long as 6 months apart. I did not actually plan and set out to be unfaithful but it was getting very difficult and lonely. I recently started an affair with a co-worker and we get together about once a week.”
Deborah* 36
2. Excitement:
“Before I got married, 2 years ago, I was the fun, party girl everyone loved to hang out with. Since being married, my life has become quite dull. Two weeks ago, I met a very good-looking guy on social media and he made me feel all the excitement that I have missed. I have only been intimate with him once and I do not intend to make this a regular affair.”
Nike* 26
3. Payback:
“My husband and I have been married for a little over 25 years and in that time, my husband has been the consummate bed-hopper. He has slept with everything from maids to executives. Now, I am done raising my kids and I seem to have a little extra time on my hands. I started dating an old friend who also happens to be married. I love my husband but it has been great to enjoy some of the pleasure he has afforded himself all these years.”
Ogechi* 45
4. Sex Drive:
“My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, and I can count the number of times we have been intimate. He hardly initiates sex and sometimes, when I do, he gets very angry and pushes me away aggressively. He even sometimes resorts to calling me names. It has been months since the last time he and I had sex. Last year, I met a guy at a wedding. We both started hanging out as friends but soon after, our conversation became more sexual and it was only a matter of time until things got physical.”
Cynthia* 31
5. The Ex-factor:
“Before my husband and I got married about 6 years ago, I had a boyfriend who I really wanted to settle down with. We were from separate tribes and our families did not approve of our relationship. Eventually, I met and married my husband, who my parents loved. I still have feelings for my ex, who is still single. He and I are still very close. We talk every day. I open up to him and tell him everything going on in my life. Sometimes, I pay him a visit and let him comfort me when I am down. We have been intimate from time to time and whenever I am with him, I feel more loved and cared for than I ever felt with my own husband. I cannot help it.”
Grace* 33
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